1,000 gifts: Jesus Really Does Care

41. Each friend that God has placed in my life. New and old, near and far, ones that are just like me who get me and understand my heart, and ones that are quite different but challenge me to grow and balance me out.

42. Sneaking alone time with my husband. 

43. When a baby sitter is easy to find.

44. The anticipation of knowing I'm on the verge of a personal breakthrough. 

45. When Malakai finds something new to be excited about.

46. A freshly organized closet

47. The incredible ladies with me in this picture from March of 2011

My mom, older sister-Courtney Danielle, myself (Karis Rochelle), the youngest sister-Kaitlyn Bethel', and number 3-Christiana Noelle

48. Finding a routine in the middle of a chaotic season

49. ARC (Association of Related Churches) who's leaders have supported us, believed in us, are ALWAYS there for us, and invited us to be a part of this amazing world of planting life-giving churches. 

50. Music and the way that it moves my heart in such a deep way

51. Unanswered prayers

52. Answered prayers

53. Successful Trips to thrift stores and rummage sales

54. Being able to look someone who is brokenhearted in their tear stained eyes and say with all confidence and assurance that I've been there and if Jesus is in the boat it's not going to sink, the storm will pass, and Jesus really does care. (words passed down through generations of my family. Spoken to me countless times my my grandfather who has now passed away, my grandmother who is my hero and her son, my dad, who's life has proven all three principles first hand) 

55. Seeing one of my best friends rock the baby that we prayed for years for her to conceive. I can't imagine that seeing them interact will ever get old. 

56. Feeling pretty on messy hair and no make-up days

57. The what if's from my past that I choose not to dwell on, but when I think about them make me smile, and sigh and thank God for making all things work together for my good.

58. That extra hour of sleep that we got this past weekend

59. Getting to tell people how me and my husband met

60. The constant, relentless and always perfect for the moment inspiration that I receive when I dive into God's Word. 

Psalm 34

¹ I will bless the LORD at all times;
   his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
² My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
   let the humble hear and be glad.
³ Oh, magnify the LORD with me,
   and let us exalt his name together!

 ⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me
   and delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant,
   and their faces shall never be ashamed.
⁶ This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
   and saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps
   around those who fear him, and delivers them.

 ⁸ Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
    Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
⁹ Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
   for those who fear him have no lack!
¹⁰ The young lions suffer want and hunger;
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

 ¹¹ Come, O children, listen to me;
    I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
¹² What man is there who desires life
   and loves many days, that he may see good?
¹³ Keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from speaking deceit.
¹⁴ Turn away from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.

 ¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous
    and his ears toward their cry.
¹⁶ The face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
   to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
¹⁷ When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
   and delivers them out of all their troubles.
¹⁸ The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

  and saves the crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

    but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 

²⁰ He keeps all his bones;

    not one of them is broken. 

²¹ Affliction will slay the wicked,

   and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 

²² The LORD redeems the life of his servants;

   none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

My Little Jelly Fish

Malakai just wasn't in a cooperative mood when it was time to go Trick or Treating. He was a jellyfish and had fun with his costume. Oddly enough, this night, he was just not interested in showing off. We all have our off days, right??? 

This is the best we could get...

October 31: 1,000 Gifts

This was an interesting week for me. It had ups and downs, complete with tears of brokenness and tears of joy. I am walking away from the past week feeling quite emotionally exhausted as I begin this new week, but at the same time, I feel a calming peace moving in and resting my heart and calming my mind. We made so many incredible memories this past weekend with trick or treating, a fall festival and Halloween Parade. We have had some amazing encounters with encouragement and some disappointing confrontations with discouragement. All in all we are leaving yet another week behind us that has been packed full of God's beautiful grace, and we are so thankful for this journey that He has allowed us to partake in.

Gifts 23- 40:

23. Fall colors

24. Peaceful afternoons

25. Days where not having an agenda is perfectly okay

26. Sleeping in

27. Pumpkins

28. Emotional weeks that although tough to navigate through, cleanse the heart

29. The anticipation of the approaching holidays

30. Being friends, despite all of the odds.

31. Random encouraging texts

32. Seeing growth in myself

33. Seeing Kai's face light up the entire day of the Fall festival, from the kiddie parade, to the train we got to go on, inflatables, and the big Halloween Parade. He was more adorable than you could possibly imagine! It was almost too much to handle. I cried at least twice just because of how happy he was.

34. A front page article being written about City Hope Church

35. Unity in local churches. (In particular: a local Pastor wanting to come to a launch meeting and pray for our new church plant!)

36. God in me being greater than the rough spots in me.

37. Finding new local restaurants that have a great menu.

38. Skype!

39. The kind of friends, that you know without a doubt will be there when (not if) you call.

40. This truth: "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart."

The Art of Encouraging Yourself

This season some of our biggest dreams are in the beginning stages of coming true. We are overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation. It has been one of the most beautiful seasons of my life. Trying to wrap my mind around the fact that God has chosen us to carry out this vision. Fragile, imperfections around every corner, and definitely not the most qualified for the job, but completely desperate for God to use us in any way for his Glory.

Even with all of the beauty of this season, there is room for the occasional fear and anxiety. Occasional? yeah right! It's a daily struggle to hand over all of my fears and worry and place them into the hands of the God who brought me here in the first place. Leading up to February, there are so many emotions, circumstances and what feels like an always growing to-do list saturating each and ever day of the week. It is busy. It is uncharted territory. It is exhausting. It is so packed full of grace and mercy that big emotions (good and bad) are inevitable. It's one of those seasons where you know the end product just isn't even remotely possible without absolute and totally dependance on our big God. Fear creeps in from time to time. I'm not a cry baby, or haven't been throwing the worlds longest pity party, but some days I just get worn down. It has taken a lot of sacrifice, but at the same time that I want to cry about all the we left behind, I want to cry about all that God has led us to and the doors that He continues to open day after day.

I think in this season of my life individual's words and actions stand out to me so much more than they typically do. The discouraging words cut like a knife on a level of intensity that I have never experienced. If no words are spoken at all, it can be equally as devastating to my day if I'm overwhelmed and my heart is longing for some small glimmer of affirmation. and them, at the same time, all it takes is a simple "Atta girl!" and the tears are flowing out of a heart that is overflowing with gratitude for such intense encouragement! Have you ever been there? I'm there and I'm not even an emotional person! (at some point before this season of my life is over, I'm pretty sure God is going to see to it that I quit using those words to describe myself!)

What I have learned is this, where there is fear there is always a peace that is greater. On most days, most people just aren't going to say exactly what you need them to say, when you need them to say it, and there will ALWAYS be days where it's just you (you're two year old) and Jesus. Yep. Alone... with no encouragement in sight. Especially when your husband is working 2 jobs, doing freelance design work and in the process of planting a church. (Have I mentioned that my husband is my hero?) Alone is always a scary thought. Alone is incredibly devastating if you are in a season where friendships are just non-existent (been there, done that and that's an entire other blog post). "Alone" can be equally as draining even if you are surrounded by great friends and people who love you, but if you are in a season that hold a very specific set of emotions for you and have a hard time relating to life as you once knew it. "Alone" is in the eye of the beholder, and no matter how many people we are surrounded by, days of feeling alone are just inevitable.

There is a great truth to be learned from the life of king David of the Bible. In 1 Samuel 30, David was having a bad day. A quite horrible day to be exact. not only had he suffered great loss, the people that surrounded him who had also suffered loss wanted to stone him. Ok, so my days don't look so bad at this point. Things get tough, but I'm pretty sure no one has ever wanted to stone me, that I'm aware of at least. But there have been days, and will continue to be days that even those who you want to sympathize with you and send some encouragement your way just might be consumed with their own lives... and rightfully so. We are all busy, all tired, and all have our fair share of valley's to walk through in life. Don't get mad, don't get sad and don't get bitter just because your "close" friends aren't validating your every emotion. In this case, David found the key. 1 Samuel 30:6 says "...but David encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord his God." DAVID encouraged and strengthened HIMSELF.  You can not possibly always depend on tangible encouragement. Your heavenly Father sees you, knows you, and is the world's best at validating your tears and fears. He led to to the place where you are and holds the perfect amount of peace to calm your every fear, to encourage your disappointed heart and to rejoice with you when you feel like you are alone in your joy. Learn the art of encouraging yourself in the Lord. Remind yourself of where His grace has brought you from and where His love is taking you. I may be a long ways from where you think I need to be, but you have no idea how far I've come. Even if joy is hard to find, count your blessings and trust in His relentless grace, and quietly wait for help from your great big God.

This is a passage from Lamentations 3, using The Message translation that I use to encourage myself quite often... If I were to be honest, it is sometimes even needed on a daily basis.

^"22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

   How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

   He's all I've got left.

 ^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,

   to the woman who diligently seeks.

It's a good thing to quietly hope,

   quietly hope for help from God.

It's a good thing when you're young

   to stick it out through the hard times.

 ^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,

   go off by yourself. Enter the silence.

Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:

   Wait for hope to appear.

Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.

   The "worst" is never the worst."

Encourage yourself today... and if you still have some energy left, 

go encourage someone else too!